A painful passage

Being a graduate of the University of Florida and a passionate fan of the Gators, I have been following with great interest the story of Urban Meyer. Meyer resigned his position as Head Football Coach at UF a few days ago, then rescinded the resignation in favor of an indefinite leave of absence. At a press conference on Sunday, he talked of some health issues that are behind this decision but he declined to identify the issues. He spoke more freely about faith, family, and priorities in his life. Many people found this a little confusing, given the passion with which Meyer approaches his job.

Urban Meyer is a phenomenally successful man. At the end of 2009, he has the best winning percentage of any coach in Southeastern Conference history (he is only 45 years old). He has won two national football championships in five years, and makes one of the highest salaries in the profession. What, short of a major illness, could provoke a man like that to want to quit?

Based on what I heard in the press conference, I wonder if this very successful man has entered the same dark passage that so many men have had to endure. It comes on in middle age (usually after age 35) and strikes particularly hard at those men who are smart, driven, competitive, and perfectionist. It takes the form of fatigue, depression, and physical symptoms. It is baffling because there are seldom any apparent reasons for it. Money, status, and fame lose their attraction. The ordinary prescriptions of vacations, hobbies, or activities don't work. It is a spiritual crisis. Each man in his own way has to find what God wants him to know about himself, his world, and his calling. It is the gateway to the rest of a man's life.

These things are seldom talked about openly. Shame attaches itself to the subject, and as a result too many men wander into this passage with no warning and with no guidance. A man can behave in very destructive ways during this passage. Much suffering could be resolved if men could be more open and supportive of each other during these times. When we don't talk about it, it remains a dangerous threat rather than a spiritual passage.

I wish Urban Meyer well, regardless of what his problems are. I hope that his public admission of pain will be an opportunity for men to see and acknowledge the importance of a spiritual center to life.